Have you ever thought about how people talk about you behind your back? Maybe you don’t want to know, but we are and there is one word that will determine what we say about you more than any other.
That word is ‘character’.
Modern society doesn’t put as much emphasis on the importance of character as it once did, but as it was in those days and it is in these, our character is the thumbprint we use to touch each other while we are here, and also after we are gone. We should take a minute from time to time to think about our character and how we present it to others. What do people think of you? What do they say about you? Are you a person of good character or bad character? Do you even care?
The Bicycle Wheel
A bicycle wheel is an excellent visual to show relation, and correlation of different elements in a set. In the bicycle wheel analogy of character, if character is the hub, there are three words that represent the spokes that attach to it: compassion, mercy, and justice. Let’s call these the ‘trifecta of character’, or maybe the triangle…isosceles, equilateral, or scalene, depending on your how your day is going.
Compassion
Webster tell us this: The word “compassion” refers to sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it.
A consciousness of other’s distress. The distress of another. Someone else’s problems and not my own. The other guy, not me. So really, compassion begins with an “other” centricity. Putting my needs, wants, desires, problems, complaints, and pain second and yours first. What a novel concept.
A sympathetic consciousness of other’s distress… “Consciousness”. Being aware of what’s going on for someone else. Having it on your radar, having that sense, or just the courage to ask.
Finally, being aware of another’s unfortunate lot in life, and having a desire to alleviate it. “How can I help you?” “What can I do for you?” “How can I be of service to you today?”
Compassion is the first spoke on the wheel of character.
Mercy
Again from Webster, mercy is defined as: compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm.
I can harm you (or you can harm me).
I can ruin your life physically, emotionally, or financially.
Maybe a little of each.
Maybe I can just incarcerate you.
But for whatever reason I choose not to.
I make a choice.
Do I feel sorry for you or do I just kind of like you?
Maybe a little of each.
The mercifulness of your nature is a measure of not just your character, but also of your humanity.
Justice
Justice is the maintenance or administration of what is just especially by the impartial adjustment of conflicting claims or the assignment of merited rewards or punishments.
Translated into normal prose:
1. It’s something you maintain or handout.
2. You need to be impartial when people disagree.
3. The punishment should equal the crime.
Let’s do these in reverse:
3. Do you kill a fly with a sledgehammer or are you more of a peacekeeper? As a parent, can your kid do no wrong or is he always wrong?
2. And what of your partiality? Some would say we’re all biased at some level – even the Supreme Court. After all, they’re still human people. But somehow you need to find the space you listen attentively to people who disagree, and find the middle, even if you’re one of them.
1. Do you maintain justice or are you a one-and-done hangman?
Care and Feeding
Compassion, mercy, and justice. The measuring sticks not just of your character, but also your humanity, and your morality. The care and feeding of these three bits of your existence requires your attention, your awareness, and your adjustment as needed. They are the most important pieces of who you are, and they create the brochure of your life that gives us something to talk about you behind your back.
Good luck and have a good week.
Joe Still
2024.01.21
Cite
“Mama was my greatest teacher – a teacher of compassion, love, and fearlessness.”
– Stevie Wonder