You’ve been listening to these little quips ever since you started being able to listen:
“You can’t take it with you”.
“Life is short, play hard.”
“This isn’t a dress rehearsal”.
And of course, my favorite, “the road goes on forever and the party never ends.”
The problem is, eventually the party does end, and if you’re living a life that is a great party, that kind of sucks. But it’s true. And yet, some of us don’t live a great party and that’s unfortunate. If this is you, there is good news today. It’s your turn to live the best party ever – E V E R. All you have to do is follow a few simple rules. Let’s talk about those today.
Rule #1: Refereeing the things that matter vs. the things that don’t.
I recently had a falling out with someone every dear to my heart. It’s not a story for public comment, but it has served me as an important reminder of the first rule of the party: the pursuit of the things that matter vs. the things that don’t. Playing referee to these opposing bedfellows causes us stress, creates indecision, and plays with our mind. And yet how we call the balls and strikes of the things that matter vs. those that don’t create the roadmap for our very existence from the people and the places that we pick, to the words and actions that we choose. In the end, it’s these decisions that tell our guests whether our party was a dandy or a dud.
Rule #2: Making good decisions.
Another great pursuit you will undertake on your quest for the best party ever is the task of making good decisions. The trouble with decisions is that you never know if a decision was good or bad until it’s already been made. Most of us believe that decisions are cerebral – they’re not. As humans being, we make decisions emotionally and then justify them rationally. If you’re making bad decisions in retrospect, maybe it’s time think about relying on your basic animal skills instead using a spreadsheet. Learn to examine your ability to assess risk, to listen to your gut, and to become more away of green and red flags. When you do, it’s like the Rolling Stones playing at your party every day.
Rule #3: Do the right thing.
Some believe that doing the right thing is a function of your moral compass, and sometimes it is. But it’s also more than that. Doing the right thing often requires a sense of bravery. A willingness to make the decisions you’d rather not make, to choose to sacrifice someone you don’t want to sacrifice, and doing what you think is right when everyone else thinks it’s wrong. Parents often say of their children, “I just want you to be happy.” I take a different tact. If I could give every child I’ve me in my mortal life just one gift, it would be this: the ability to find a sense of inner peace. Richard Nixon once said, “I am a Quaker. I seek peace at the center”. (Note to millennials: Nixon Milhous Nixon was the 37th president of the United States. His full name was Richard Milhous Nixon. Remember: behind every water gate is a mill house – think about that one for a minute).
Back to the party.
Many of us think that the idea of thinking about the end of our lives carries with it a sort of morbidity. We shouldn’t and it doesn’t. Au contrare mon ami, by living in the present that one day your party will all end is the very thing that will focus you on sorting through the things that matter vs. the things that don’t, making the right decisions, doing the right thing, and in the end, find your own sense of peace.
Good luck and have a good week.
Joe Still
2023.10.08
Cite
“Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Be patient. The storm will pass, the spring will come.”
– Robert H. Schuller