Dear Jesus,

Wow. 2,017 years old. And here I was kind of freaking out about 50. So let me start this by saying as I do each year, “Happy Birthday Jesus”.

You’re definitely not an easy one to shop for. I mean what do you get for the guy who hands out the tickets to eternity? I’m pretty sure you don’t do Amazon and I doubt you are interested in the Fruit of the Month Club either. I was thinking about some wine, but then there’s the shipping. So this year I’ve decided to give you something kind of different. I’ve decided to give you the finger. No, not that finger…my finger.

Let me explain.

I sometimes wonder what it’s like for you and your Dad to sit up there and watch all of us. It probably looks like a mash up of CNN, Pulp Fiction, and the Gong Show. It’s been a pretty crazy year here – srsly. The President, the politicians, and all those pesky, pompous, pontificating thespians from Tinsel Town who are all going the way of Pee Wee Herman. And then there’s the planet, my health care, and the tax bill. People are pissed no dout. And it’s all just become one big finger pointing festival. Someone calls you on your shit? Give ‘em the you-know-what. Trying to cover up your secret Russian mistress (the hacker)? Here it comes. And if you are accused of debauchery 3 decades ago, that finger’s going to be rubbed right in your face until your whole life collapses in a moment of public disgrace. Maybe that’s the right thing and maybe it’s not, but the finger isn’t really the problem. The problem is the direction.

I’m not a door knocker. I don’t hand out pamphlets. I’m not in the pew every Sunday. But I think about you in my quiet moments. That’s when I came up with this finger idea. It’s a present I give with the utmost humility. I’m giving it to you so you can help me point it back at me when I need it most. I’m asking you to point my finger at me because that’s probably where it belongs most. And I’d like to ask for you to help with three things that I’m pretty sure were on your Top Ten List back in the day.

1. Faith
I know this one’s supposed to be channeled at you, but I think we need to start finding faith in ourselves again. I always find it amazing when I’m in front of a room – the people who struggle the most are the victims of their own self-talk. They have no real proof that they “can’t”, but still they believe it, and the results are inevitable. And then there are those who give up all of their power, time and energy to live vicariously in the micro moment of some actor, politician, or opinionist. Phooey. I think we need to start by focusing our faith and our energy on the one thing (the only thing) we can do something about. Know what I mean?

2. Love
Here I am writing about love to the guy who probably invented it. So let me humbly offer my own definition: joyful acceptance. I always liked that one. If we can joyfully accept the people around us, we’re all just a little better off. But sometimes it’s hard. I really tried last week while I was sitting next to that super fat guy on the tiny plane who smothered me for two hours and smelled like he had been on tour with the Grateful Dead for the past 6 months. And I’m still having a hard time with that jackhole who murdered our countrymen in Vegas. Don’t even get me started on the Mr. Twitter Show from the Oval. I’m working on it. All I know for sure is that you and your Dad love us all. I bet you even love those Russians that we’re spending millions (probably billions) because we suspect-hope-maybe-perhaps that they hacked Hillary, invented fake news, and pretty much made fools of our best and brightest in DC (hint: look in mother’s basement). But until justice or the next election (whichever comes first), maybe we should just work on loving ourselves. Sounds weird, but it is true. If we can start here, everything else will be just a little better. So I’m handing over my finger to you. Please point as needed.

3. Peace
How many thousands of years have we been talking about this one? Maybe we’re just waiting for the app, or pigs to fly. I don’t know for sure. But I think this is where the finger thing probably applies most. We’re always looking outside and forgetting about inside. So many of us still buy into the idea that, “If only the other person would get their shit together I would be ok”. It’s the same from leaders to lemmings to losers. It never really works. It never will. Actually, it just pisses you off even more.

I had a moment last summer when I was in the Sistine Chapel. I don’t think it was religious, it was more personal. It’s a little place (of course you already know that), but it exudes beauty. Not beautiful, “beauty”. I still remember how I felt standing there…even with everything that’s wrong around us, somehow everything also felt right for a moment. It was a profound and perfect sense of peace and it was kind of amazing. Even better than a tax cut for the rich. If we really were all created in your Dad’s image, then this is the kind of thing we should all be promoting. If I can spread some of that ju ju in the world next year I’m in. Again, the finger. I’m giving you mine. Help me to remember when I need it most.

So…back to your birthday. I hope you like your present. I’m going to tell a few thousand friends about it. Who knows, maybe a few of them will give you the finger too. But either way I hope you have an awesome day playing putt putt with your disciples, going for a walk in the desert with your dog, or whatever it is you do on your day off. Happy Birthday Jesus.

And if I may be so humble…good luck and have a good eternity.

Joe Still
2017.12.24

Cite
“Jesus did not spend a great deal of time discoursing about the trinity or original sin. He went around doing good and being compassionate.”
– Karen Armstrong